Ten Worst WWE Gimmicks Of The New Millennium
From Jimmy Wang Yang to Perry Saturn and Moppy, Metal Arcade presents some of the worst WWE gimmicks seen since the start of the new millennium.
The atmosphere in the WWE has changed forever since the year 2000. Purchases of both WCW and ECW, a brand split and the obvious name change propelled the company to new heights. While many guys like Batista and Randy Orton found success in the WWE, others weren’t so lucky. For some, it was their below average wrestling abilities. For others, it was their cringe-worthy gimmicks. This list deals with some of the worst WWE gimmicks seen since the start of the new millennium.
10) Simon Dean
Michael Bucci was an extremely talented wrestler, having performed in ECW for years under the ring name Nova. When it came to his stint in the WWE, he traded his nifty blue tights for fitness gear. Simon Dean (which was inspired by Dean Malenko’s real name Dean Simon) was pretty much a blatant Richard Simmons knockoff and his promos were nauseating to watch. Unfortunately, the “head of the Smackdown welcome committee” was released in 2007, but he’s keeping afloat as a real estate broker nowadays.
9) Vito’s Crossdressing
Not sure how one goes from busting heads in the Full Blooded Italians and The Baldies to wearing dresses in the ring. Vito confused many with this cross dressing gimmick that looks like it was ripped straight from The Jerry Springer Show (it was actually influenced by The Sopranos). The really awkward part? His signature move Dress Code (a.k.a kimura) involved him placing the opponent’s head underneath his dress. Yeah, that didn’t make sense to me either.
8) Paul Burchill’s Pirates of the Caribbean look
Paul Birchill was a pretty respected name in England’s wrestling scene, so people were thrilled when he signed with the WWE. His alliance with fellow Brit William Regal worked out well until Palmer Canon informed Birchill about his pirate heritage. At this point, a very talented wrestler wound up with a cheesy pirate gimmick that would have made Johnny Depp cringe. Since being released in 2010, Birchill has traded his wrestling gear to become a full time firefighter.
When they aired Kizarny’s promos back in the fall of 2008, I knew that he wouldn’t last long in the WWE. In fact, Nick Cvjetkovich only lasted two months after his WWE debut in January 2009. The sad thing is that he only wrestled in two televised matches on WWE televison. Months of promos for two measly matches just doesn’t seem right.
6) The Boogeyman
The Boogeyman would have went over really well in the late 80s and early 90s. Unfortunately, times have changed and kids are into more realistic grapplers like John Cena and CM Punk. Although the Boogeyman was released in 2009, he made a surprise appearance at December’s Slammy Awards interrupting former Wrestlemania 22 opponent Booker T. Big props to Marty for donning some killer makeup night after night.
5) Jimmy Wang Yang
While it’s cool to break stereotypes, Jimmy Wang Yang certainly had a lot of people scratching their heads. The redneck Asian gimmick wasn’t as effective as his bodyguard stint for then Cruiserweight champ Tajiri. Also, if you lose in your debut match under a new gimmick, your chances of sticking around become very slim. His entrance theme was great bar fighting music, though.
To this day, I have no idea why the WWE decided to go with the Eugene gimmick. Nick Dinsmore portrayed the “special” wrestler to the best of his abilities, and it landed him some pretty decent airtime (and a short feud with Triple H). He won the World Tag Team Championship with William Regal but a legitimate injury forced him to be sidelined for several months. After being released in 2007 for failing a drug test, Dinsmore stuck with the Eugene gimmick (U-Gene for the indy circuit) and managed to get on Hulk Hogan’s Australian wrestling tour. He is currently a trainer for OVW.
3) Bull Buchanan
Bull Buchanan couldn’t catch a break in his stint in the WWE. In 2000, he joined the below par group Right to Censor (which was a blatant ripoff of ECW’s The Network) with Steven Richards, Ivory and The Goodfather. While he did manage to gain tag team gold with The Goodfather, the stable fell apart and Buchanan was stuck in creative limbo. (Un)fortunately, Bull Buchanan changed his tune and formed a partnership with some guy named John Cena. The hip hop bodyguard gimmick didn’t sit well with a lot of fans and Buchanan wound up getting released quicker than he could say “Booyah!”. No clue what happened to that Cena kid, though.
2) Perry Saturn and Moppy
Backstage and in-ring altercations will usually lead to wrestlers being put in the dog house (case in point: John Morrison giving Trish Stratus the cold shoulder at Wrestlemania 27). That was the unfortunate case with Perry Saturn as an intentional attack on jobber Mike Bell during a match forced the creative team to rearrange his character as punishment. Saturn turned down Terri (who would do that?!) for Moppy. Moppy wasn’t a hot new Diva; Moppy was an actual mop. The gimmick actually went over well with fans in spite of creative’s plans. It was rather uncomfortable to watch a grown man go on a date with a mop, though.
1) Tim White’s suicidal rampage (a.k.a. Lunchtime Suicide)
Kiss My Ass Club. HLA. The WWE has done some edgy stuff in the past but the one thing that they probably regret doing was Lunchtime Suicide. The weekly spot focused on retired WWE referee Tim White who tried killing himself due to his fallen career. They continued to have this guy commit suicide in various ways (putting head through an aircraft propeller, eating rat poison, hanging himself) week after week. What makes this even worse is that the WWE never issued any sort of apology or warning about this distasteful gimmick.