WWE Raw Recap – 4/23/2012
This week’s WWE RAW was a 3 hour special, I suppose to hype up the upcoming Extreme Rules PPV featuring Brock Lesnar Vs. John Cena. There was a lot of craziness on display this week. First and foremost, however, Edge returned! To yell at Cena, trying to make him find his balls again so he’s got some kind of shot at taking down Lesnar on Sunday. He talks about how the Cena in front of him was not the Cena that wrestled Edge in great matches years ago, and he needs to find his inner badass and shut Lesnar the hell up. He’s pissed that Lesnar left for 8 years while him and Cena carried the company, only to walk back in like he runs the place. It seemed as though Cena heeded Edge’s words.
Next was a match between Kofi and Jericho, and it was pretty damn good. There was an SOS reversed into the Walls, only to be reversed again. At one point Kofi leaped off the top rope into a Codebreaker. After Kofi was knocked out, Jericho put the Walls on him again and finally Kofi submitted.
There was then a promo shown of Lesnar’s first match against Jeff Hardy (who I’d love to see return, especially since he’s finally drug-free).
Johnny “Clownshoes” Laurinaitis was shown talking backstage to Eve, and offered her a job. There was an awkward moment where they stared at each other for far too long and it looked like Johnny was gonna rape her.
CM Punk was shown backstage getting a present gift basket from one C. Jericho. It was filled with booze, of course, and Punk gave the basket to Josh Mathews, but kept one bottle for himself…
Lord Tensai took on R-Truth, and buried him (yawn).
Kane-uhh does a promo-uhh on Randy Orton-uhhh. Randy is still pissed about Kane beating up his dad Bob Orton last week, and he’s shown putting Paul bearer in a freezer. Kane says only the devil is his true father, and, presumably, let’s P Bear freeze to death. I found this hilarious.
Backstage again, Jericho is seen peeking into Punk’s locker room. It appears that Punk is on the sauce.
Alberto Del Rio and Cody Rhodes fight Big Show and Khali. Slow, boring fight as expected and Khali is working stiff as hell as usual. Big Show injures his knee and Rio and Rhodes work the knee. Cody does a figure four leglock. Soon after, Big Show won with a Choke Slam to Cody.
Jericho, Eve and Johnny talk backstage, and agree to make CM Punk take a sobriety test and strip him of the title.
Brock finally shows up for the contract signing, and Josh Mathews attempts to interview him. Lesnar chokes him against a trailer, and when he says he’s just trying to do his job, Lesnar throws him like a ragdoll through a gate. Josh is then shown being carried away by medics.
Next up was a Divas match between Nikki Bella and Beth Phoenix for the championship. Eve comes out and makes it a Lumberjill match because the Bellas always cheat. Beth injures her ankle, seemingly for real. Nikki rolls her up for the pin.
Punk is shown seemingly drunk backstage, throws a chair and falls down.
Jericho comes out to the arena for Punk’s sobriety test. There were some funny moments with Punk acting wasted, such as when the officer asked Punk to walk the line in the ring. After failing multiple tests the officers declare him drunk, and Teddy Long is forced to strip him of the title. Punk says to give him one more chance and, predictably, does the alphabet backwards and walks the line perfect. He then beats up Jericho.
Next up was Sheamus Vs Henry with Special Guest Referee Daniel Bryan. Bryan counts a very quick pin on Sheamus and Sheamus goes after him, but gets the Yes Lock from Bryan.
Next was Primo and Epico Vs. Zack Ryder and Santino. Santino won the match.
Funkasaurus came out with Hornswoggle. He beats Jack Swagger, and then Hornswoggle bites Vicki’s ass and she runs away.
Lesnar comes out to sign the contract, but Cen adoesn’t show. He starts making a bunch of demands to Laurinaitis, such as more money, McMahon’s private jet, and he wants RAW changed to Monday Night RAW Starring Brock Lesnar. At this point the crowd is quite incensed and a genuine Cena chant broke out as hell froze over. Sure enough, he showed up (with his Thuganomics chain on) and the two had a few words and a staredown, as Brock threw a table and Cena wrapped his chain around his fist. This was the end of the show.
What did you think of this week’s RAW? Are you excited for Extreme Rules, or could you not care less? Let us know in the comments below!